A Lullaby

 



This one showed up in my Instagram feed this week; I consider it a gift from Heaven just the day before Aubrey's 6th birthday. 

Happy Birthday Aubrey Elizabeth. 

I miss you. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"you're grieving"

Image
  my photo from the Minnesota Arboretum The past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. Twice, I have described to my therapist what I am experiencing, and she has nodded compassionately and said, "you're grieving" Huh?  I thought I was struggling with a mental health issue, running old unhealthy thought patterns, or possibly going crazy, and she says I'm grieving?  At the same time my mind paused to question and examine that idea, my heart resonated deeply with it and I wondered simultaneously how this could possibly be grieving and why I hadn't seen it before.  It baffles me how grief shows up so unexpectedly. When I was younger, I thought grief had to always be sad feelings around the one we lost, or around children in general. Even though I have learned more and more about grief, and specifically my grief, it still shows up in ways that I don't expect.  I am so grateful for God leading me to my therapist. She is truly a life-changing, heart-rescui...
Read more

Grief Time

Image
  I committed to writing courageously here, to not hiding the good or the bad. And then I disappeared for over a month. It's been a little turbulent over here, I admit.  But somehow, it's also been fascinating.  Let me explain.  In the past, since Daniel died anyway, winter has been very painful. I don't know why holidays are so painful. There are many reasons I've thought of, but I also have the feeling that there are many more reasons I haven't thought of yet.  But this year has felt different. It's still painful, perhaps even more so than before, but there has been less emotional 'drama'. We did not travel for Christmas, and we didn't agonize about it until the last minute like usual. We just decided we wouldn't and left it at that. Sweet relief! I dread the process of trying to figure out Christmas plans. It's not that I don't want to see family - it's just complicated.  Another new thing this year was that I woke up the day befor...
Read more

Look Unto Christ

Image
Look Unto Christ from Strive to Be I love the music from Strive to Be. The more I listen, the more I feel soft moments of understanding and insight and peace.  This year's theme song is Look Unto Christ. Here's a cool insight I had while it was playing in my head as I was driving (it can only play in my head because my car stereo is not working...) My child development classes in college were some of my very favorites and I learned so many fascinating things. One of them is that when a child is very young, parents are their reference points for how to respond to their envrionment. We call this "social referencing" .  For example - toddler and caregiver are playing in the living room. Toddler is testing out her new ability to run, loses balance, and falls - plop - right on her puffy diaper. Reflexively, she looks to Dad.  Scenario 1: Dad gasps, looks worried, and runs over asking if she's okay, feeling fear in his heart. Likely toddler response: her face also wrin...
Read more