Re-Commit

 

Well then. It's been a while. 

I wonder, have I not written the past few weeks because the past few weeks have been hard, or have the past few weeks been hard because I have not written?

I discovered Beth Kempton's Christmas podcast and Substack this week - I love her books and her writing and have been somewhat swept away by her beautiful words. She made her winter writing workshop free this year, and I signed up. I'm excited to see where it leads. 

One of the things that caught my attention was her confidence that writing is (or at least can be) a healing form of self-care, which I believe deeply is true for me. I write with a pen in my journal and in my daily planner, with my thumbs on a journaling app, and with both hands on a keyboard. Each has its place and I do believe writing to be a healing practice. I just don't always think of it. 

I have thought of a number of things I could write about - my sister had her firstborn baby (I wasn't sure how it would affect me but it certainly did), the cold weather and looming holidays always bring up a menagerie of sensations (there are seemingly endless layers to this one), I started a new job (so far it is what I had hoped it would be), and I even started a post about what I ate for Thanksgiving. Whenever people ask me what I eat on holidays because of my food sensitivities and choices, I can never think of it on the spot and give lame answers that make it sound like I eat salad all day every day....and while I love a good salad I do eat other things, especially on Thanksgiving. So I wrote it down. Maybe I will still post it, or combine it with Christmas foods in a new post. 

I think the point for me here is that thinking about writing does not count as writing. There is something about actually putting the words together where I can read them... Because I am a writer. Thank you, Beth Kempton, for encouraging me to own that sentence. If you're on the hunt for a supremely cozy listen this winter, check out her Calm Christmas Podcast. Her episode on reading and writing was the first one I listened to and in my opinion the best. It's still the only one I've listened to so far, but I stand by my opinion that it is the best - it would be very hard to top that one for me. 

So this is me re-committing to writing regularly because I believe it is good for me - and if I want to get better at it I will need to practice!

Coincidentally, I find myself writing this on Daniel's birthday. 

I don't believe in coincidences. 

my heart bleeds with missing you